5 tips for a happy relationship

In every relationship there are ups and downs - that's totally normal! Nevertheless, sometimes it’s easy to look at other couples and think: “They’re sooo happy - what do they do differently?”

We all know there’s no secret recipe for a happy relationship. But, on our blog, we still like to explore this topic with fun tips and personal stories - like “4 Questions for a Strong & Healthy Relationship.” 

Ultimately, you and your partner get to decide what works best for you. But today, as we discuss 5 tips for a happy relationship, we ask that you keep an open mind (and heart!). You never know what nugget of wisdom you might pick up. :)

What does a happy relationship actually look like? 

I - Vanessa from Team Vertellis in Germany - recently celebrated my anniversary. My boyfriend and I took this milestone as an opportunity to reflect on our relationship and think about that very question. 

What struck me, is that we as humans are all different. Every person values different qualities in a relationship, and I think finding someone who shares and supports those qualities is a big predictor of a couple’s overall happiness. 

For me, qualities I value most are: trust, humor, and mutual support. I can say that my boyfriend is my biggest cheerleader and always helps me when I have a new idea. 

Since we’re all different, you may have other qualities in mind that keep you happy in your relationship - and that's perfectly fine! It’s important to be aware of these ‘basics’....then comes the fine-tuning. :)

5 tips for a happy relationship at a glance

1.   Create common rituals
2.   Understand your "love language"
3.   Accept others’ decisions
4.   Give and take necessary space
5.   Pay attention to your individual happiness

1. Create common rituals

What do couples with a happy relationship do differently? They take time in their everyday lives for joint activities or special rituals! This way, you don’t get bored and you can look forward to something together.

For example, you can bond over a common hobby. If you two like to cook, then make Wednesday night "New Recipe Wednesday." Or if you’re sports fans, join a rec league together. By participating in something you both love on a regular basis, you’ll have magic moments together that will strengthen your connection even more. 

Having common rituals is another way to fortify your bond. For instance, my boyfriend and I ask each other a question from the Vertellis Relationship Edition every week. That's a very special moment of the week for us - as it’s a ritual that only we share.

 For an evening full of deep connection and meaningful questions with your partner, check out the Vertellis Relationship Edition.

2. Understand your "love language"

Everybody gives and receives love differently. According to Gary Chapman's Love Language Quiz, there are five ways to show love to one's partner: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts. 

It's very interesting when you and your partner take this quiz. It helps you become much more sensitive to how you show love to your partner in everyday life because now you know how they personally like to receive love. But this works the other way round, too! Through the quiz, you learn how you best receive love and what needs you have. And you can communicate this to your partner!

The more you and your partner develop an understanding for each other, the deeper your bond will be.

3. Accept the decisions of your partner

Sometimes there are situations in life where important decisions have to be made. This can be anything from a professional venture, like changing a job, or matters of private life, like how to care for a sick parent. 

In these situations, it’s important to accept the decisions of your partner - even if you would have made a different choice if you were in his or her position. Part of a good partnership is to be there for your significant other, to listen and, of course, give advice - but still respect the other person’s decision.

4. Give and take necessary space

Even if you are a strong team in a happy relationship, it’s important to remain an independent person. You have needs and dreams that you shouldn’t neglect or give up just because you’re in a relationship.

It can actually strengthen a relationship if you and your partner have personal goals and can talk about them and inspire each other. Even though the first tip in this blog post was about creating shared experiences, for many couples, having time alone and pursuing your individual dreams are just as important.

 5. A happy relationship begins with YOU

 If you don’t start with your own well-being, none of these tips will work in the long-run. When you take time to cultivate your own happiness, you’ll start to see that you can give much more in your partnership. If you’re not at peace with yourself, it’s easy to carry these tensions into your relationship or take frustrations out on your partner. 

To keep my inner balance, I like to use our mindfulness journal Vertellis Chapters. It allows me to consciously take some quiet time for myself every day and gives me space to reflect on what made me happy. This little book helps me focus on the good things in my life, which helps me bring much more energy and passion to my relationship!

What are you doing for a happy relationship?

Is there anything in this post that you and your partner already do in your relationship? Did we leave out an important tip? 

Let us know what you are doing to build a happy relationship by dropping a comment below. That's how we can inspire each other!