Questions for Couples - 100 Conversation Starters! | Vertellis
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Tessa Brennan - 19/01/2021

Questions for Couples in Every Stage

At Vertellis, we believe questions for couples should go beyond the day-to-day conversation starters such as, “Honey, did you take out the trash?” But we also understand that you might need some conversation starters for couples - especially if you’ve been married a long time. Luckily, that’s what this blog is all about!

In this post, we share fun and intimate questions to ask couples at every stage of their relationship. These will encourage you and your partner to engage in reflection, conversation, and deep understanding for one another.

Why is that important? Because asking questions and being curious about your partner is the foundation of a lasting romantic relationship. Long-lasting couples regularly make time for each other and invest in their relationship by using couples quiz questions. Our favorite way to do this? By playing Vertellis’ question game for couples!

100 Questions for Couples for Fun and Intimate Conversations

We’ve selected 100 questions for couples to ask your loved ones, right out of our Vertellis question game! To make it easy for you, we’ve separated them into sections. 

Get to know you questions for couples

  1. Are you working on any personal passion projects right now?
  2. If money was no object, what would you do for work?
  3. What’s your favorite time of day?
  4. What’s the best gift you ever received?
  5. What’s the best gift you ever gave someone?
  6. What’s your favorite memory of your parents?
  7. What’s the best vacation you ever took?
  8. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?
  9. What’s the last road trip you took?
  10. Are you an adventurous eater? Why or why not?
  11. Are you an early riser or a night owl?
  12. How do you unwind at the end of the day?
  13. What’s the last thing you bragged about to your parents?
  14. What personal achievement are you most proud of?
  15. What was the last movie to make you cry?
  16. What’s the last book you really enjoyed?
  17. What’s a new skill you’d love to learn?
  18. What’s your biggest pet peeve in a partner?
  19. In the next year, what’s your #1 goal?
  20. What’s something you plan to do in the next year that will surprise people?
  21. What makes you feel alive?
  22. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

For even more questions to ask your new beau, check out ‘20 fun questions to get to know someone’. These couples quiz questions will tell you a lot about your partner! And if you haven’t yet mustered up the courage to ask someone out, try   ‘10 fun questions to ask your crush’! Here, we’ll show you how to get to know someone using our Vertellis question game.

Fun couple questions

  1. What’s the best thing you’ve ever purchased for $100 or less?
  2. What was your favorite cartoon as a kid?
  3. Who was your childhood celebrity crush?
  4. What was your childhood nickname?
  5. What was your dream job as a kid?
  6. Who was your favorite teacher in school?
  7. If you could only eat three foods for the rest of your life, what would they be?
  8. Do you wish you had been born in another country? If so, where?
  9. How do you like to spend a rainy day?
  10. What’s your guilty pleasure?
  11. What song do you secretly love?
  12. What’s your most embarrassing moment from high school?
  13. Who was your first kiss?
  14. What animal are you really afraid of?
  15. Do you have any hidden talents? If so, what?
  16. If you could time travel, where would you go?
  17. What is your biggest pet peeve?
  18. What’s the stupidest way you’ve ever hurt yourself?
  19. What’s your favorite Disney movie?
  20. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
  21. What’s the best Halloween costume you’ve ever had?
Fun couple questions

Here are some fun couple questions for whenever you want to ask your partner something new AND need a laugh. Hot tip: use a few of these to ease into more intimate or vulnerable questions. It always helps to start with laughter! They also double as fun questions for married couples. Play it like a game: take turns in asking each other questions and get to know your partner even better!

Personal conversation starters for couples

  1. What do you need to feel loved, happy, fulfilled, and secure?
  2. How would you like me to comfort you when you’re sad?
  3. What do you want people to say at your funeral?
  4. What’s your greatest fear in life?
  5. How can I support you better in your dreams and goals right now?
  6. What’s the most fun thing we did together recently?
  7. What do you appreciate most about me?
  8. What values do you feel we share? 
  9. What differences between us drive you crazy?
  10. What differences between us do you love?
  11. What do you think my best quality is?
  12. What is your best and worst memory from childhood?
  13. What’s your most embarrassing moment?
  14. Of your family and friends, who do you think has a great relationship and why?
  15. If you could plan an ideal day for us together, what would it be?
  16. What are your love languages?
  17. How do you feel about politics right now?
  18. What does it mean for you to be your ‘best self’?
  19. What keeps you awake at night?
  20. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t done yet?
  21. How have you changed in the last 5 years?

When you’ve been dating for a while and have a committed relationship, these get to know you questions for couples are great to deepen that partnership, get to know each other on an even more intimate level, and practice being vulnerable with one another. If you’ve asked these questions and are craving even more connection, you can also try these personal questions to ask for a better relationship.

Questions for married couples (or soon to be!)

  1. What do you love about me?
  2. When do you feel most loved by me?
  3. What is the meaning of ‘home’ for you?
  4. When’s the last time we really acted as a team?
  5. How would you like me to approach you if I’m upset about something?
  6. How important is ‘alone time’ to you?
  7. What do you feel the purpose of marriage is?
  8. What does a happy marriage look like to you?
  9. What does a healthy sex life look like to you?
  10. How can we make our sex life even better?
  11. Do you want a family someday? What does that look like for you?
  12. If we want children, what’s your ideal in terms of sharing parenting responsibilities?
  13. How should we share financial responsibilities?
  14. How do you take care of your money?
  15. What’s important for you to spend money on? Where do you like to save?
  16. What are your feelings about debt?
  17. Are you happy renting or do you want to own a home?
  18. Is there a behavior or habit I have that irritates you? If so, what?
  19. What would be unforgivable to you? Why?
  20. Is there a question you want to ask me but haven’t because you’re afraid of the answer?
  21. What’s an important lesson you’ve learned from our relationship?
  22. Do we have a common dream? If so, what is it?
Questions for married couples

Moving in with each other, talking about getting engaged, or planning to get married? Make it a fun experience! These conversation starter questions for married couples will help bring you even closer together, as well as get clear on some important issues as you merge your life together. Try spicing up your conversations with a question game for couples!

Annual reflection questions to ask couples

  1. What was our best moment as a couple this year?
  2. What was our most challenging moment?
  3. How did we help support each other this year?
  4. Were your needs met by me this year? If so, how? If not, why?
  5. With the knowledge you have now, what would you have done differently in our relationship during the last year?
  6. What was your favorite place we went together this year?
  7. What were your personal goals from this last year? How well did I support you in these?
  8. What’s something you’d like for us to achieve as a couple in the next year?
  9. In the next year, what will we do as a couple for the first time?
  10. In the next year, what will our photos be of?
  11. How can I better meet your needs this next year?
  12. What can I do to make you feel more loved by me in the next year?
  13. What are your personal goals for this upcoming year? How can I support you?
  14. What are you most looking forward to for us this next year?

If you’re married or in a long-term committed partnership, it’s important to check in with your partner about the state of your relationship on a regular basis. Use these questions for couples to talk about what’s going well and what you can improve on to make the relationship even stronger. 

These couples quiz questions in particular are great to do on your anniversary or at the end of the year. Half of them focus on the last year, the other half focus on the next year!  Want more questions for your annual review? Try these deep questions for the most beautiful conversations.

What makes a “good” question to ask couples?

While intimate questions to ask couples can be “serious” in nature, they can also be fun! We think it’s important to have a mix of intimate and fun questions for couples, because while life with any partner isn’t always fun and games, it’s also crucial to have lots of light-hearted, funny moments with them.

Consequently, we’ve chosen questions that cover a range of topics that are both ‘light’ and ‘serious’. There will be questions about sex, money, and politics - basically, all the things we’re not supposed to talk about at the dinner table but are vital to talk about with a partner - as well as questions about hopes, dreams, and goals. We’ve also thrown in fun and silly questions for couples so you can laugh together while learning more about each other (because honestly, what’s better than that?).

Positive quiz questions for couples

At Vertellis, we try as much as possible to frame our questions that you can ask couples in the realm of the positive. Intimacy between partners can be damaged when there’s a constant focus on what’s wrong or not going well in the partnership. And while we think it’s important to discuss what could be improved in your relationship, we also want you to focus on what’s going well!

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, all of the quiz questions for couples that you’ll find here are open-ended questions. What does that mean? Essentially, we’re steering clear of questions that have one-word answers. You won’t find any questions here that can be answered with a simple ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, and if we have included one, there will be a follow-up question.

Why? Because these aren’t just questions, they’re conversation starters for couples. Questions with open-ended answers lead to deep and meaningful connections - which is what we’re going for!

couple quiz questions

Why are questions for couples important?

Friendship is at the core of any successful relationship. And think about how you get to know your friends...by spending time with each other, discussing your goals and dreams, talking about “life”, and supporting one another.  Speaking of friends, if you’re looking for questions to liven up your friendship, try these 20 funny questions to ask your friends!

Well, romantic relationships are no different! Couples (married or not) who really know each other on an intimate level and are aware of each other’s hopes, dreams, goals, wants, needs, likes, and dislikes are the ones who stand the test of time. And asking your partner fun and intimate questions is a great way to find these things out and/or deepen your understanding of them.

How asking romantic questions for couples helps

When couples ask each other meaningful questions, it allows them to learn more about one another, consider each other’s perspective, work through differences, and become more supportive of each other. It can also challenge us to think deeply about what we really want, both in life and from our relationship, and what we expect from our partner. 

Romantic questions for couples can also benefit your love life! What’s more, sharing your answers with each other creates intimacy and is an important form of bonding. After all, to truthfully answer these questions, you need to trust each other and feel safe being vulnerable and open with the other person!

Afraid your partner won’t like these conversation starters?

We get it, it can be scary to ask our couple questions, especially when they’re more intimate in nature. One thing we’ve done to help with this is organize the questions based on what stage you’re at in the relationship.

We have ”get to know you questions” for first dates, for couples who are deepening their connection, for those who are taking a big step like getting engaged or moving in together, and couples who are married or in a long-term committed partnership.

Why have we done this? Because asking and answering questions requires trust. The more intimate the question, the more trust is required to answer it. 

Build trust with fun couple questions

Building real trust takes time, so start with some of the lighter or fun questions for couples and dive into the more vulnerable questions once you know you’ve established a deeper level of trust with your partner.

If you try and your partner isn’t interested at first, don’t be discouraged. Let them know why asking these questions is important to you, and that you simply want to learn how to better love and support them. 

Take turns answering conversation topics

Also - asking questions shouldn’t be a one-way street! Your partner can (and should) ask questions of you, as well. In fact, why not let them pick a conversation topic first and you can model what an honest and vulnerable answer looks like. 

Finally, if you’re not used to asking intimate questions in your relationship, work on building that kind of trust in small ways. Ask for their opinion. Ask them how their day was. Dr. Gottman, couples researcher extraordinaire, talks about how these small ‘bids for connection’ are what separate the relationship ‘masters’ from the ‘disasters’. Make and accept bids for connection as often as possible and keep being curious about your partner.

How to make the most of these questions for couples:

Especially if you are new to the whole process of using conversation starters for couples, these tips are for you.

1. Set the scene

This isn’t a debate! Be close to one another. Try some mood lighting to make things romantic. Have your favorite beverage in hand. The goal here is to relax, enjoy each other’s company, and really connect as a couple.

2. Eliminate distractions

As you ask and answer these questions, it’s important to give each other your full attention. Turn your phones on silent. Turn off the TV. If you have kids, make sure they’re either asleep or with a sitter. 

3. Don’t worry about the number of questions

This is about quality, not quantity. You may find the two of you only discuss one question for hours - and that’s totally fine! Let the conversation go where it may. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a lifetime together to answer all these questions. 😉

4. Take turns asking and answering questions

Intimacy is about give and take. If you ask a question, let your partner respond, have them ask you the same question so they can hear your answer, and then allow them to ask the next question.

5. Really listen

The goal here is not to problem solve - it’s to really listen and learn about your partner. You may bump up against some uncomfortable truths with these questions, but do your best to take it in and respond with empathy and non-judgment.

6. Make it a game!

Yes, we want you to connect and learn more about your partner - but we also want you to have fun together. Why not try our Vertellis Relationship Edition?

Just remember: this is about problem-solving and connecting with your loved one, nothing more. Use our questions for couples to make a better connection!




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