Avoiding the "Busy Trap": How to Stay Calm During a Stressful Day
Ahhh the busy trap. Weâve all had days, weeks, or even months where everything feels go-go-go...and this isnât always bad! Whether youâre a new parent, have just started a business, are taking care of a sick family member, or going through any other major life change, I think we can all agree there are certain times in life where we simply have a lot going on.
The thing is, whenever our schedules start to fill up, itâs easy for us to fall into the âbusy trap.â
Whatâs the busy trap?
You ever wake up anxious or stressed because youâre worried about all the things you need to get done? Feel like time is rushing by and youâre not enjoying the ride? Find yourself always answering the question, âHow are you?â with âBUSY!â?
If your answer is âyesâ to any of the questions above...you may be in the busy trap.
First of all, let me just say, if youâre currently in the busy trap, you are not alone. In fact, for many people, constantly being busy, stressed, or stretched-too-thin is like a badge of honor. We think itâs a sign of being a hard worker, which is highly valued in our society. In contrast, taking time for yourself, having space to play, or practicing self-care is âselfishâ and âlazy.â But friends, I promise, this could not be farther from the truth.
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Releasing the need to be busy
When we say ânoâ to the busy trap, weâre allowing ourselves to say âYES!â to joy, happiness, connection, tranquility, better health, and even better work. If youâre used to being in a state of âbusyâ, it may initially feel strange to release those feelings of stress and anxiety and operate from a place of calm. I promise though, and Iâve learned from experience, the busy trap is not sustainable. Eventually, our bodies or relationships start to give out.
If youâre currently caught in the busy trap, take a look at some of my favorite ways to release the âbusyâ and cultivate calmness, even during a stressful day.
Feeling busy? Try these:
- Focus on your breath.
- Take time to self-reflect.
- Don't ditch healthy habits.
- Connect with others.
- Ask yourself "What's most important right now?"
Keep reading to learn how I dive deep into each of these 'tools'...
1. Focus on your breath
Whenever I find myself caught in the busy trap, the first thing I do is focus on my breath. This instantly slows things down and brings me into the present moment. Take a second, wherever you are, to close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply. Some people may find that counting the breaths or using a mantra such as âSo Humââwhich simply means âI am thatââhelps keep your mind from wandering during this exercise.
After taking time to focus on your breath, notice how you feel and how you respond to people/events. Are you more relaxed? Is it easier for you to stay calm?
2. Take time to self-reflect
When life feels full, be sure youâre giving yourself space to self-reflect. I personally like to self-reflect by writing in a guided journal like Vertellis Chapters (where you can spend five minutes or an entire hourâthe choice is yours!), but you can also self-reflect while walking alone in nature or sitting quietly on your couch with a cup of tea. Use this time to ask yourself important questions, the answers to which often bring clarity to stressful situations. Some of my personal favorites include:
- What am I grateful for?
- Whatâs going well in my life?
- Am I holding onto anything thatâs no longer serving me or those around me?Â
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3. Donât ditch healthy habits
I am the first one to admit that I love coffee and am not one to say ânoâ to a delicious dessert. However, I also love taking care of my body with regular exercise, nutritious food, and good sleep. The thing is, when Iâm in the âbusy trapâ, itâs easy for me to throw those healthy habits out the window. Iâll find myself having three cups of coffee before noon, mindlessly munching on chocolate while working at my laptop, and not taking time to go to the gym or move my body during the day. Any of this sound familiar?
If you can relate, Iâm sure you know that ditching healthy habits is not the way to beat the busy trap or relieve stress. In fact, if youâre anything like me, you probably know that not taking care of your body results in more stress. Therefore, when the âbusy trapâ starts to rear its head, commit to keeping healthy habits in place. These donât have to be hugeâtake a 30-minute walk after dinner or choose an apple over sugary snacks when hunger strikes.
P.S. I want to addâthis tip in particular is a big challenge for me. If this, or any of these tips, feel challenging or uncomfortable to you, remember to be kind to yourself! Itâs not about perfection; itâs about trying new strategies that ultimately help your life feel less crazed and more joyous.
4. Connect with others
Humans are designed to connect face-to-face. Consequently, when we donât make time for in-person connection, weâre denying ourselves a basic human need. When your schedule is full, socializing with others can help reduce stress, decrease feelings of loneliness, and increase happiness.
Just like healthy habits, this doesnât have to be huge. Perhaps itâs agreeing to a no-phones policy at the dinner table or spending a screen-free hour with your partner each night. I know for myself, when I make time to connect with others, Iâm far more productive in my work, feel more supported, and am less likely to experience burn-out.

5. Ask yourself: Whatâs most important right now?
When your stress level is high and overwhelm starts to get the best of you, take a moment and ask yourself: Whatâs most important right now? When I feel caught in the busy trap, itâs usually because Iâm assigning equal value and urgency to every task on my plate. In reality, though, there are tasks that can wait until next week, there are tasks I can delegate to someone else, and I have the power to say ânoâ to things. By figuring out whatâs most important right now, I can start taking action on high-priority tasks and stop stressing about ones that are less urgent.
Any tips for us?
Weâd love to hear from you! Did you try any of these tips? What are your favorite ways to avoid the busy trap? Leave a comment and let us know. đ
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2 comments
I keep a slip of paper in my journal as a weekly check in to see how I am doing. It lists my goals: social justice, relationships, carbon footprint, generosity, rest, let go of, learningâŚand use this to see how I am doing. It keeps me on track.
Love your "Shortâ but poignant messages. I stop to read them as I scroll down my long list of emails. Most , of which I delete and donât read. I permit myself; to occasionally sit and I watch reruns of âThe Office.âlol